Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Indignity

It sucks getting old.

Doug sent me the following while I was at work on Thursday.

Poor Annie. She is the world's nicest dog to put up with the tutu.

And this.

And the ears to the pig costume.

In dog heaven, she will get to eat lots of extra milkbones for enduring our kids and not biting their faces off.

If I could make the scanner work, I'd put the photo of Oscar the cat in Emily's bathing suit here.

My point, other than eliciting an "awwww" from the dog lovers, is to note that being an "older" woman sometimes sucks. Poor Annie can't hear the kids coming and can't move fast enough to escape them so she gets dressed up in costumes.

While on the 100 mile bike ride last week, and again yesterday, I got hives all over my upper thighs. Very sexy. Who wouldn't want red, swollen, bumpy upper thighs? Only on the front, though, and thank God for that!

It appears that I'm allergic to hot weather and cycling. So, I googled and binged with my friend the internet.

To discover that middle-aged women sometimes just get hives.

Like we get hot flashes.

And stress fractures.


As if cellulite and stretch marks weren't bad enough.

But you know what else middle-aged women get? Beer. And wine.

And those make you not really care about the hives. Or the pink fuzzy pig ears.

1 comment:

Nat said...

I really don't think we are middle aged yet. I plan on living over 100. You plan on kieling over at 74?

FWIW my best friend when I was little use to get hives at swim practice from the water being too cold and she was 9.

PS. I think Annie looks nice in the tutu and I love the scrunchy on the tail. Hysterical.