Tuesday, April 19, 2011

100 Miles to Nowhere

May 22, 2011 is the much-anticipated Roswell, Georgia 100 Miles to Nowhere Ride through the cities of Roswell and Mountain Park, Georgia. The Fat Cyclist started this event as a trainer ride to raise money for cancer research and the idea is to suffer for 100 miles. Every year I read about this ride and think "I should do that." Well, 2011 is my year.

My dad is a prostate cancer survivor. My uncle Joe is too, and so is my friend Allison's dad. Prostate cancer is very common, but you don't hear as much about prostate cancer as you do about some of the other cancers, so that is why I am raising money for both Livestrong and the Prostate Cancer Foundation. If you read this blog and feel motiviated to ride with us or donate, please follow the links shown below and give a few bucks to these good causes. Every little bit helps, even $5. The Prostate Cancer Foundation is a support/research organization designed to help men and their families/loved ones learn more about, avoid and/or cope with prostate cancer. Livestrong is a simlar organization, but they also promote healthier lifestyles for everyone. You can log your food, log your workouts and get information about getting active on their website - all for free!

The "official" 100 Miles to Nowhere event is on June 4, 2011 and you can still sign up by following this link.

Here is the thing, though. This is a virtual event. So, since we are busy on June 4, I've scheduled my 100 Miles to Nowhere for May 22. After I decided that I would do the 100 miles, I thought it might be more fun if some friends did it too. Hmmm. Who could I talk into doing a ridiculous athletic endurance event with me?


So, Natalie and I (and hopefully Coldfire, Team Awesome, some work and NAMC buddies and others) are riding 100 Miles to Nowhere on May 22. And, because Natalie nixed my idea of riding thirty times around my neighborhood, and because we are fun like that, it is a really hilly 100 Miles to Nowhere. Our 10 mile loop includes the climb from mile 80 of the Hospitality Highway Century. Now, don't you want to ride with us?

If so, here is the route. There is no cost to ride with us and I will give you some of the schwag I will be getting because I paid to sign up with The Fat Cyclist and provide you with GU Electrolyte Brew, GU Energy Gel, GU Chomps and other aid-station fare, regardless of how or when you choose to sign-up.

HOWEVER, if you join us, you must sign a waiver and please donate to either the Prostate Cancer Foundation or Livestrong to join the fight against cancer. You can click on the links in this paragraph to donate online, you can mail donations to either group or you can give me a check or cash and I will donate for you. Failure to donate will result in merciless teasing, name-calling and insulting of your manhood, even if you are not a man.

Doug will be cheering us on with the kids (more cowbell!), so if you poop out before the full ten laps, you can always hang with them.

Please note the following Pros and Cons to the route we have chosen:


  1. Beautiful sun and dappled shade on a lovely 10 mile loop in Roswell.

  2. Fun riding buddies.

  3. Horsies.

  4. There might be singing.

  5. Definitely some trash-talking.

  6. GU Electrolyte Brew, GU Energy Gels, GU Chomps and PB&J for your dining pleasure.


  1. The route is very hilly.

  2. It might be really hot.

  3. Have I mentioned the hills?

  4. We will pass your car every 10 miles. That could be a good thing, though.

  5. That thing about the hills, I'm not kidding.

If you choose to accept this mission, please come prepared to identify your division of the 100 Miles to Nowhere race. I, for example, will likely (depending on the heat) be the "38 year-old women with hives division." Creativity is encouraged so that you automatically win your division

We roll at dawn, which is forecasted to be 6:32AM on the day. If you arrive late, you will receive a map in exchange for your waiver and you can follow the turn markers (already approved by both cities! Yes!). And, what good would a ride with me be without rules?

  1. Go at your own pace. Since everyone wins their division, you don't need to blow it out.

  2. There are speed humps, road bumps, gravel, cars and other road hazards so you must be responsible for your own bike maintenance and safety.

  3. I respectfully request that you please wear a helmet and follow all traffic laws. Yes, even the stop signs.

  4. Gu Electrolyte Brew, water and an assortment of snacks will be stationed in the shade of my garage with good-natured taunting from Doug and encouragement from the kids. Bring your own water bottles and refill as necessary. You don't think 10 miles is a long way, but it is.

  5. I will repeat: YOU are responsible for your own bike maintenance and safety.

  6. Mountain Park Road will cause you to curse and beg for your mommy. If you could, please try to limit the cursing if there are children around. If no children around, colorful cursing is encouraged. The hilly part is only 0.5 miles, though, so try to suck it up.

Oh yeah, one last thing. In Ironman training, Doug always says that a ride doesn't count unless you cap it with a run. So, consider that too.

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