The Agenda

No, not The Association.

The Agenda.

It turns out that I have one!

I had no idea.

Let me backtrack.  Last winter, when Doug and I took the girls to run in the Polar Bear Run, some ladies who did not recognize me as a runner remarked in my hearing that the winner of the race must have "an agenda" because she ran the race in capris and a jogbra.  Granted, it was cold that day, but WTH?  Who cares what she was wearing and how does the wearing of a jogbra turn into an agenda?

Anyway, this scene has replayed itself in my mind many times since that day.  I still can't figure out why those ladies thought the winner had an agenda.  And when I think about it, I say (in my head) "She must have an AGEEEENNNNDAAAAAA" in a very ridiculous voice.

Anyway, MY agenda appeared the other day when I was reading my blogs.  Yes, I keep a list of blogs in my Google Reader and new stuff just shows up when the writers post it.  Magic!  Anyway, I was reading along and it turns out that the writer of one blog that I have read since Annika was born (Dooce) has started running.  She wrote about some of her running and her first taste of GU.  And then, I had to reply.  You have to sign up for an account to post a comment and I never have because I never do anything that requires a sign-up.  Not even online shopping.  But I had to do it, because she was talking about RUNNING. 

So, I thought about it a lot that day and realized that I am like that kid in college.  You know, the one who would sit down next to you on the bench outside of the library in college and want to tell you about his best friend Jesus Christ.  If this never happened to you, you either did not go to college in the South or you were never alone in college because it happened to me a LOT.

Anyway, I am that guy!  I want to tell everyone about my best friend, running.  Running has helped me deal with stress (work, taking the bar exam, motherhood).  It has helped me avoid becoming the fat Steph from middle school.  It lets me get outside and see the town or just the neighborhood.  It helps me stop and smell the roses or taste the muscadines (just look at the vines in front of the VG Bistro!).  It helps me remember stuff that I have forgotten.  It helps me forget stuff that has irritated me.  It gives me the patience to do stuff that I don't like.  It lets me think through problems.  It lets me blow of some steam.  It lets me wave and smile at the cops and the neighbors and people I don't even know.  It helps me accept what my body is, but also tells me that I can do more than I thought I could.

Sure, I have bad runs or hard runs or runs where I have to go potty a zillion times or worse, when I can't find an open potty or where I chafe the skin off of my armpits, but every time I am always glad I went and I never return from a run wishing I had not gone.

In all honesty, Doug is my best friend, but running is right up there.  So, when I wave to you from my car or the sidewalk and am happy about my running, it is because running is my friend and I want to share it with you.

Try New Things - Class #5 - Hot Vinyasa Yoga

After the warm yoga experience in Class #4, my yoga-riffic buddies convinced me to try out a vinyasa class.  Apparently, vinyasa is movement-based yoga and each movement flows into the next.  So, we agreed to meet for a Hot Vinyasa class yesterday.

Elena, Karen and Mila are all experienced yoga students, but Michelle joined us and she is about my speed of yoga (remedial).  As is my habit in a new class (OK, in any class), I tried to get on the back row with Michelle, and not one, but two other attendees literally elbowed me out of the way!  Whew, who knew that people were so particular about their yoga locations!  So, I ended up front and center, which is way outside of my comfort zone, but it was probably better since it kept me on my best behavior and in the moment.

We did a warm-up with closed eyes, which was surprisingly relaxing.  It was really more of an ease-in because the room was plenty warm, but we started moving around gradually, which was a nice way to begin.  The instructor did not model the poses for the class, but walked around the room while guiding us with her voice.  While I felt a bit adrift at times when I didn't recognize the pose she meant, it was easy enough to open my eyes and copy what everyone else was doing.  And, while she was guiding us through our warm-up/ease-in the instructor told us about the meaning of the word yoga and gave us some deep thoughts on the idea of unity.  This part, when combined with some other stuff I was thinking about, made me cry.  Luckily, I am used to crying during the songs in church, so I didn't worry too much about it.  I learned that it is not unusal at all to cry in yoga.  The instructor also had a few things to say about accepting your body, which I thought was pretty awesome.  This jibed very well with the varying degrees to which we could perform the poses in the class.  Some could touch their toes, some could not.  Some were on left feet, some on right.  Some could back-bend, some could not.  It was nice to see all of the variations and hear that they were all OK.

The flow class really was about constant movement, which I appreciated.  We moved from pose to pose in a similar order to the sun salutations I remember from my last (only) real yoga class and did a LOT of yoga pushups in between the different poses.  The pushups were very difficult, but even some of the routine stuff like going from downward dog to warrior pose was challenging for me.  I liked this flowing kind of yoga a lot.  It was hard, but relaxing at the same time.  The heat, instead of being an afterthought, really wove in with the class so that while it was gently warm at the beginning of the class, it got oppressive at the end so that it was a complete relief to do the cool-down poses that felt most comfortable.

Our last exercise after the flowing exercises was to join arms for a last stretch (almost a runner's stretch) on each side.  While you'd think that we might have felt silly doing this, it was really nice, except that the lady next to me did not want to touch me.  Not her fault that I am a sweat monster.  The instructor left us with some good thoughts about the duality of emotions and actions, which was a good way to end.

All told, I give Hot Vinyasa an enthusiastic thumbs up.  I would definitely look forward to another class.

Try New Things - Class #4 - Warm Yoga

This class was supposed to be Hot Yoga, but the heaters in the yoga room were on the fritz.  So, we convened in one of the regular exercise studios with the heat turned up.  This provided a warm class (no pulled muscles) but not a hot class (no sweating).  I learned after class that the format of this class is similar to that of a Bikram class, in which you do a set of 26 poses (same poses every week) in a 95-108 degree room separated by rests between poses. 

I really dreaded this class because yoga is just not my thing.  I failed miserably at the class I took with the kickboxing ladies.  I would lie in corpse pose (savasana) and think "wow, I am not burning any calories here" or "how much longer?" or "what do I need to do at work tomorrow" or "maybe I can poke Michelle with my big toe".  Luckily, Mila and Elena (who are good at yoga and way bendier than me) agreed to meet me and Natalie told me what to do in the class. 

I arrived ridiculously early, procured and sanitized a mat, picked up towels, a block and strap and brought iced water with me.  As we went through the poses, the instructor told us to look ourselves in the eyes in the mirror, so it felt like cheating to watch what she was doing to emulate the poses (I still did it).  This class had the soothing music and dim lights, but it lacked a lot of the hippy-dippy stuff that intimidates or irritates some people about yoga.  After I worked through my desire for incense, deep thoughts and encouragement, I realized that if you just want to stretch your body without a lot of fluff, this is the perfect class.  Now, if you could eliminate some of the savasanas (boring!), it would be only an hour and perfect!

Interestingly, I really enjoyed the distractions of the karate class next door (they were breaking boards!) and when one of the other students' teenaged kids were dancing outside the door impatient for her to leave.  On the other hand, as I was struggling to turn my body around for yet another savasana (I am still ridiculously sore in my calves, core and triceps from Total Conditioning on Saturday), I had the nicest thought about the crisp, delicious apple that I had for snack before class.  It was nice to just think about that instead of being embarrassed at how un-bendy I am or how much struggle it took me to get into and out of the savasanas.

So, I give the class a thumbs up, despite the fact that it did not go according to plan and that I still suck at yoga.  It helped me stretch when and parts of my body that I otherwise would not have stretched and that is a good thing.

Try New Things - Class #3 - Total Conditioning

Well, as I type this, my arms are still wet-noodley from this morning's Total Conditioning Class.  It totally kicked my ass.

Total Conditioning is a lot like what I imagine Cross-Fit to be: intervals of strength training (weights), followed by more reps with a bit of cardio or cross-functionality (adding legs while lifting with arms, for example), followed by hard cardio (zone 4 or 5).  Go to the next interval and repeat that process for a full hour.

Before class, I met a nice man who showed me how to set-up my area and advised me to start easy with the weights.  He was really helpful and even checked in after class to see how I did.  LifeTime should buy him a coffee because he was an excellent ambassador.  He needn't have worried about me heeding the weight warning!  I selected the lightest weights (green, which are actually 3lbs and not 1lb like I thought and blue 8lbs that I didn't even touch).  I did go up one level on the bar to the yellow 15lb bar, which was OK.  I selected a red stretch band - huge mistake.  Midway through the first set (not the progression to add cardio), I had to drop it and go without.  My swim muscles are fine, but the rest of my upper body is still downright wimpy.  Seriously.  I had the lowest weights of any person in the class, even the grammies!

As with last week's Strike class, our instructor started early and we warmed up fast. I had tried out the '"floating" elliptical machine on the cardio floor to warm-up for 10 minutes, so I was fine with the fast warm-up.  Apparently, this is what everyone does, because I recognized a lot of the people in the class from the machines around me.  Quickly I realized that wearing my Vibrams had been a mistake.  While they were perfect for Strictly Strength (the instructor even wore them), I found them terrible for the cardio portions of Total Conditioning.  I gazed longingly at the cushy Brooks on the lady and man beside me while I changed some of my cardio to low-impact when my feet started complaining.  If you can run in your Vibrams, though, you could definitely do Total Conditioning in them.  I would have preferred a securely-laced running shoe or flat.

I really enjoyed the progression format of the class and the way you could do the low-impact, medium or hard-core versions of each exercise.  The class was all over the map on the variations, so I didn't feel self-conscious about modifying when I needed to do it.  I don't think the guy next to me was ever doing the same exercise as the instructor!  And the cardio was hella-fun.  I channeled my college step-classes and middle-impacted when my feet didn't want to do the high-impact stuff.  At one point, we did squat-thrusts, then had the option to (a) step up on the step, (b) jump with both feet onto the step, or (c) jump over the step.  At another point we did three two-footed forward jumps in a row, then spun around and jumped back to repeat.  It was awesome.  I was dripping sweat at the end of every cardio interval and it usually took me the whole first lifting set to recover.

Total Conditioning was fabulous.  It allowed me to bring it the way Strike did, but because the lifting was more controlled than my crazy punching, I don't appear to have hurt myself as badly.  I will try it again with shoes next time!  Thumbs Up!!

Try New Things - Class #2 - Strictly Strength

Today's class was Strictly Strength with Wendy.  I have never done a strength class, so I had no idea what to expect but was pleasantly surprised.

I have not yet regained a full range of motion after Saturday's Strike! beat-down, but I gave Strictly Strength a try anyway.  To prepare, you set-up a step like in step class, lay out a mat, gather two sets of hand-weights (heavy and light) and a weight bar.  I picked the lightest weights possible (green 1lb and blue 2 or 4lb hand weights and my pal the 6lb pink bar) and set-up my area just like my friend Carolyn did.  Carolyn picked WAY heavier weights than I did.  My ego wanted to get bigger weights (some of the other class members had 9lb weights and a 15lb bar!), but I knew it was better to start low than have to swap out in the middle or drop the weights entirely.

We did a little warm-up, then two rounds of shoulders, chest, lunges, squats, calves, biceps, and triceps.  Last, we did glutes, abs, core and back.  I missed the last bit of this and the stretching because it was 6:15 and I had to leave, which is too bad because I am really good at the core.  However, I was able to do the whole workout, except for a few reps of the lunges and squats when my glutes and quads burst into flames.  Apparently, the exercises that you do in each workout change every time because Wendy mentioned that there would be no pushups today.  The music was good and my only criticism was that I had a hard time following the number of reps.  I think I will get better at this with some practice.

I would definitely do this class again, but I think I might run a few miles first to warm-up and after to cool-down because (a) I am addicted to cardio and (b) I am not young or flexible enough to jump right into the warm-up.

As of today, I hereby change the rating scale to thumbs-up v. thumbs-down instead of N out of 10 because the numbers are very likely to be very Steph-o-centric.  The overall quality of a class should not be evaluated on my foibles.  Other folks may just not like to punch or value the sweating as much as I do.  : )

So, Strictly Strength gets a thumbs-up!

Try New Things Offseason Challenge - Class #1 - Strike!

Climb every mountain

or just try every class at LifeTime Fitness!

Now that my triathlon offseason is here, I was thinking about what I could do to keep in shape and avoid the post-race lbs I put on last year.  So, I was thinking, maybe I could just try out all of the classes at my gym.  The gym has classes all day, every day and I have never tried any of them except for spin.

Class #1 - Strike!

So, this morning, I found a buddy and we gave Strike! a try.  It is basically an aerobic kickboxing class merged in intervals with a strength class.  You select a weighted bar and in between sets of kickboxing you do sets of lifting or sparring moves with it.  The kickboxing took me right back to the classes Corinne, Michelle, Katie and I used to take at Kim Brothers and LA Fitness ten years ago.  SO. MUCH. FUN!

We did lots of punching (which I love), lunges, squats, and cardio.  I picked the lightest bar (pink, of course) and was still dripping sweat for the whole class.  Some of the other ladies had really heavy bars, but I don't think I could have done the whole class with a heavier bar.  The instructor started early and appeared as if she would have kept going if not for the hard stop at 10am.  She gave good directions and played music with a good beat. 

My glutes are sore to the touch and I may not be able to move tomorrow, so I give this class a 10 out of 10.  I will definitely be back.

Brick the Cancer Ride Report

After the 100 Miles to Nowhere event, I swore off of events. I figured that the craziness of the ride was an indication that I was just not ready for primetime and hosting an event is a lot of work for the family, especially if I am riding in the event.
So, when Katie decided that she was going to raise money for Athletes for a Cure so she could do Ironman Wisconsin, I thought we would just donate some money. Those Athletes for Cure folks are doing such good stuff by even mentioning prostate cancer since no one seems to be able to mention a prostate without giggling – I am a sucker for them. Well, the donation turned into “let’s host a party to solicit donations for Katie.” Then Doug did the math and realized that we needed to widen the net. Couple that with the silly brick workouts we had been doing (10 mile Mountain Park bike loop + 3 mile neighborhood run loop) x 3 and voila – another event was born!

Brick the Cancer was held on Saturday, July 30 and we raised over $500 for the Prostate Cancer Foundation via cash and donations on Katie’s site. We planned to ride three circuits of the 30 mile down-to-the-river loop, alternated with running three loops of my street (3 miles with cul-de-sacs) for a total of 90 miles of riding and 9 miles of running. Doug made awesome boiled peanuts and BBQ and we got to ride bikes with a lot of neat folks.



Adam posing for Annika




Barry and his magic shoes.




The Blackmons




Brian - Mr. Speedy.  He was the only other person to ride all 100 miles of the 100 MTN




Cindi - fastest woman alive on platform pedals




Dave, my spin class buddy and superfast marathoner




Katie the Event Girl and awesome Doug, who manned the fort despite having the flu.




Doug's awesome sister Michelle, who is going to Wisconsin with us and who escorted Susan and Lynn on their ride before running with her sweet husband.




Susan and Lynn - their run plan sounds like the most fun ever.  They skip and dance and everything.




Tom.  We are going to convince him to do a triathlon one day.  He is already way faster than me on the bike.







GU donated GU Energy Gels, neat banners and schwag and allowed me to buy event-sized quantities of GU Electrolyte Brew and GU Chomps.

You'd think I would have made my artful arrangement so that you could see the labels on the GU and Chomps, but no.



Brooks Running chipped in some schwag and discounts too and everyone loved the Brooks transition zone in the driveway!



Betcha didn't know that trees and bushes make super bike stands!



Schwag box - choose your own!

My neighbors did not complain, we had a few flat tires and other than both of the crashes that I caused, no one wrecked! Katie and Greg brought their margarita machine and made alcohol-free GU Brew-a-Ritas to cool everyone off,

plus some lovely macaroni and cheese. Becky made awesome cake and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Tom made lemon cake and Karen brought peanut butter crackers to share. It was awesome.

On loop 2, we powered through the flat tire events – good practice to change them!  Then, as we climbed back from the river to the house, the sun turned into a ball of flame.   Doug had to hose Adrienne and Marlin (who, along with my buddy Larry, miraculously appear to have been immune to Annika's awesome photography skills) down to cool them off after they rolled in early after electing not to ride down Stroup Road to visit the goats with us.  Karen loves those silly goats!

This let to our newest running innovation – the hose chair. Some strategically placed holes in the chair, a cup of iced beverage and a hose = instant relief.

After the loop 2 run, Doug packed me zip-lock bags of ice to put in my shorts and all riders refilled our bike bottles with ice and the GU-a-ritas.  As we sallied forth (or ground painfully up the hill, whichever) on loop 3, we decided to do two 10 mile loops instead of a longer loop so that we could come back by the house for more ice.  It was that hot.
 
This proved to be a genius idea because loop 3 was blazing and miserable.  Luckily, as we came within two miles of home (I had to calculate this later because my math had escaped me by that point in the ride), the heavens opened and it began to pour with rain.  The rain was a welcome relief from the heat and oppressive humidity.  After a few minutes of wrangling, the group elected to run our remaining run loop and then reassess the weather situation.  After an uneventful and rather painful (at least for me) run or run/walk, we called it quits and tucked into the delicious BBQ, cakes and homebrew.
 
I am very pleased to report that Katie met her fundraising goal and that we are all looking forward to Ironman Wisconsin next week!  YES!
 
So, I am still pretty amateurish at the event thing, but we had a great time.  Who doesn't enjoy a yard party with a little exercise thrown in for fun?

Brick the Cancer July 30!

What? Another silly workout day at the Bachman house? That's right! It's time for the Brick the Cancer workout to benefit Katie's Athletes for a Cure fundraising.

The fun happens on Saturday, July 30 at 6:30am. Three bike/run loops plus GU, Brew, PB&J, Doug's BBQ and recovery beverages. Ride or run (or not!) as much and at whatever speed you like. Finish in plenty of time to go to Kate's Cake party or the NAMC Braves game or just hang out with the Brown Dogs.

Bring your beach chair and children with bathing suits for sprinkler action.

Details here or let me know your email address so I can add you to the Evite.

100 Miles to Nowhere - Roswell, GA Edition

Or, more accurately, the "Not Quite Ready for Prime-Time Race Direction and Hot as Blazes Edition."

When I signed up for Fatty's challenge, I thought it would be cool to be part of the event and a good excuse to do a nice long ride. Originally, the plan was to do loops of my neighborhood but my partner in crime (Natalie) thought it would be more fun to do a longer loop.


A longer loop.

Of hills.

So, I thought, why not? You get extra credit for doing 100 HILLY miles, right? Brett has a joule and calculated that we actually did 8,333 feet of climbing in our 100 Miles to Nowhere. Regardless, I thought it would be challenging and Natalie and my husband would ride with me and it would be a great day.

Well.

It was a great day, but the pie-in-the-sky plans I had for a seamlessly organized and perfect event miraculously did not materialize when I overscheduled by doing the Rev3 Knoxville HIM the weekend before (race report will follow), work got crazy and it turned out that my daughter's First Holy Communion was the day before the event. I was still putting up the directional signs at dawn and screeched into the garage in time to change my shirt and hop on my bike. No shower, no tooth-brushing, no breakfast, no artfully-arranged display of GU and schwag.

Oops.

Both the City of Roswell and the City of Mountain Park were friendly and accomodating when I asked them about our event. They did not require me to get an event permit and since they were not for a commercial purpose, were small and removed quickly, there was no fee for the signs either. Yes!

Here is the very professional-looking result of my handiwork, which I realized once we were riding, is really small. And hard to see. Next time, I'll have to print them at a sign place. They were really cute, though. I even put "encouragement" signs going up the big hill. Like, "Suck it Up Buttercup" and "You Can Do It!"

One of my many signs indicated a stretch of downhill that was very bumpy. Unfortunately, I failed to heed my thoughtful warning and pinch-flatted my front tire on one of the larger bumps. And, because we had not had time to remove my race wheels from the Rev3 Knoxville HIM, it was a tubular tire, which I've never actually changed. Darnit!

Nat and I successfully wrestled the tire off of my wheel but could not get the valve-extender off.

It turns out that the reason Doug puts my multi-tool in my Bento box when I race is not really to crowd out my GUs. It is because you need the allen wrench to remove the valve-extender from the race wheels. AHA! Nat and I did not figure this out until Brett and then Seth and finally Brian lapped us and stopped to provide advice/assistance.

Apparently, it takes five triathletes to change a tire. (Sorry Nat, for purposes of this discussion, you count as a triathlete).

Luckily, I knew enough to stretch out the tire while Brian removed the extenders for me. Brett helped us get the new tire on and we were back on track. Whew.

During the planning stages, GU stepped in and supplied me with enough GU and Chomps to feed an army. They also said it was OK if I used the Electrolyte Brew that we had left over from the Run at Work Day event. Super! So, we were well-fueled and Doug kept the coolers full of delicious lemon-lime GU Brew and water all day. He also set-up the tents, brought out chairs, boiled peanuts, grilled BBQ, served frosty beverages, handed out water balloons to the kids and kept track of our loop times. See, it was actually super-lucky that he didn't want to ride. Or is just super-smart.

I publicized the event on BT and sent email soliciations for donations to everyone on my phone list and suddenly, my 3-person event rapidly grew into quite a party! There is a secret here, you see. If you put out Doug's beer and BBQ, the people will come. Here is a photo of a guy from Team Awesome, Doug's dad, and my friend Larry. You can see Doug and kids in the background.

In addition to the original six (Brett, Brian and Seth in the fast group with Nat, Kevin and me in the slower group), another twenty-three people showed up to ride at least one loop of the course. It was AWESOME! We raised over $1,000 for Livestrong and the Prostate Cancer Foundation!

It is not to late if you want to donate. Just click the links.

So, back to the ride. Dan and Mindy (Team Carpenter) came down from Athens ride. They are real cyclists and quickly left Nat and me in the dust.

Cindy brought a bunch of work buddies and kicked all of their behinds with five loops (on her platform pedals with no clips!). Here we are in loop 5 or 6.

Shortly after this photo, I ran over a piece of glass and flatted again. I had no repair kit on my bike, of course. After I had run about 1/4 of a mile with the bike, Doug's sister Michelle showed up and drove me back to the house where Nat's brother-in-law, Wes, who is a professional cyclist, changed that tire for me while I took a pit stop. Pretty darn cool. Here are Wes, Pookie and Ryan (Team Awesome).

Then, after one solo loop (the only one of the day!), Neal and Scott joined me for the last two loops. They waited until the heat of the day to ride so that I would not have to do the last bit alone. They rock! Justin made sure we were hydrated and we were on the home stretch.

Scott and I headed out on the final lap together. You can see him behind me, looking decidedly less loopy. He thoughtfully pretended that he wasn't coasting to keep up with my slow pace.

Shortly after the photo, I high-fived Doug on the way out, lost my balance and promptly wiped out in the driveway. Yep. Grace is not my middle name. Might have been a bit loopy also, because it was super hot. But we finished and Scott didn't even mind taking the longer loop home so that I could add back enough miles to make up for the running and car travel.

Final score: 27/28 riders in all. 8,333 feet of climbing. 101.40 miles in 7 hours, 21 minutes, and 36 seconds for a whopping average speed of 13.78 miles an hour and 2,863 calories burned while raising $1,118 for 2 great causes (plus some extra for the Colon Cancer Foundation).

And, because I can't resist photos of my kids and their cousins, are photos from First Communion. It was a beautiful Mass and we had a great party after, too. Team Bachman can throw down.

100 Miles to Nowhere

May 22, 2011 is the much-anticipated Roswell, Georgia 100 Miles to Nowhere Ride through the cities of Roswell and Mountain Park, Georgia. The Fat Cyclist started this event as a trainer ride to raise money for cancer research and the idea is to suffer for 100 miles. Every year I read about this ride and think "I should do that." Well, 2011 is my year.

My dad is a prostate cancer survivor. My uncle Joe is too, and so is my friend Allison's dad. Prostate cancer is very common, but you don't hear as much about prostate cancer as you do about some of the other cancers, so that is why I am raising money for both Livestrong and the Prostate Cancer Foundation. If you read this blog and feel motiviated to ride with us or donate, please follow the links shown below and give a few bucks to these good causes. Every little bit helps, even $5. The Prostate Cancer Foundation is a support/research organization designed to help men and their families/loved ones learn more about, avoid and/or cope with prostate cancer. Livestrong is a simlar organization, but they also promote healthier lifestyles for everyone. You can log your food, log your workouts and get information about getting active on their website - all for free!

The "official" 100 Miles to Nowhere event is on June 4, 2011 and you can still sign up by following this link.

Here is the thing, though. This is a virtual event. So, since we are busy on June 4, I've scheduled my 100 Miles to Nowhere for May 22. After I decided that I would do the 100 miles, I thought it might be more fun if some friends did it too. Hmmm. Who could I talk into doing a ridiculous athletic endurance event with me?


NATALIE!

So, Natalie and I (and hopefully Coldfire, Team Awesome, some work and NAMC buddies and others) are riding 100 Miles to Nowhere on May 22. And, because Natalie nixed my idea of riding thirty times around my neighborhood, and because we are fun like that, it is a really hilly 100 Miles to Nowhere. Our 10 mile loop includes the climb from mile 80 of the Hospitality Highway Century. Now, don't you want to ride with us?

If so, here is the route. There is no cost to ride with us and I will give you some of the schwag I will be getting because I paid to sign up with The Fat Cyclist and provide you with GU Electrolyte Brew, GU Energy Gel, GU Chomps and other aid-station fare, regardless of how or when you choose to sign-up.

HOWEVER, if you join us, you must sign a waiver and please donate to either the Prostate Cancer Foundation or Livestrong to join the fight against cancer. You can click on the links in this paragraph to donate online, you can mail donations to either group or you can give me a check or cash and I will donate for you. Failure to donate will result in merciless teasing, name-calling and insulting of your manhood, even if you are not a man.

Doug will be cheering us on with the kids (more cowbell!), so if you poop out before the full ten laps, you can always hang with them.

Please note the following Pros and Cons to the route we have chosen:

Pros:

1. Beautiful sun and dappled shade on a lovely 10 mile loop in Roswell.




2. Fun riding buddies.
   






Horsies.





There might be singing.


Definitely some trash-talking.


GU Electrolyte Brew, GU Energy Gels, GU Chomps and PB&J for your dining pleasure.

Cons:

1. The route is very hilly.


2. It might be really hot.


3. Have I mentioned the hills?


4. We will pass your car every 10 miles. That could be a good thing, though.


5. 
   
   That thing about the hills, I'm not kidding.
   
   

If you choose to accept this mission, please come prepared to identify your division of the 100 Miles to Nowhere race. I, for example, will likely (depending on the heat) be the "38 year-old women with hives division." Creativity is encouraged so that you automatically win your division

We roll at dawn, which is forecasted to be 6:32AM on the day. If you arrive late, you will receive a map in exchange for your waiver and you can follow the turn markers (already approved by both cities! Yes!). And, what good would a ride with me be without rules?

1. Go at your own pace. Since everyone wins their division, you don't need to blow it out.


2. There are speed humps, road bumps, gravel, cars and other road hazards so you must be responsible for your own bike maintenance and safety.


3. I respectfully request that you please wear a helmet and follow all traffic laws. Yes, even the stop signs.


4. Gu Electrolyte Brew, water and an assortment of snacks will be stationed in the shade of my garage with good-natured taunting from Doug and encouragement from the kids. Bring your own water bottles and refill as necessary. You don't think 10 miles is a long way, but it is.


5. I will repeat: YOU are responsible for your own bike maintenance and safety.


6. Mountain Park Road will cause you to curse and beg for your mommy. If you could, please try to limit the cursing if there are children around. If no children around, colorful cursing is encouraged. The hilly part is only 0.5 miles, though, so try to suck it up.

Oh yeah, one last thing. In Ironman training, Doug always says that a ride doesn't count unless you cap it with a run. So, consider that too.

100 Miles to Nowhere - May 22

REGISTRATION FOR 100 MILES TO NOWHERE IS OPEN! If you want to register with the Fat Cyclist and get the tons of schwag, go here now. It will sell out today so get busy if you want to sign up that way. I will be riding 100 miles to nowhere on May 22. This is in advance of the official race day. If you want to ride with me on May 22, registration with Fat Cyclist (or at all) is not required but a donation for Livestrong is strongly encouraged. In other words, I will rib you mercilessly if you do not donate. The route is still under discussion but the two top contenders are the loop in my not-so-gently rolling neighborhood (2.85 miles) or the Mountain Park loop (10 miles), including the hill of doom. Ride as many or as few laps as you feel like. I will have plenty of GU Electrolyte Brew and GU Energy gels to share and other schwag and everyone gets an award. I'll post an official route once I decide which one we are doing and make up some rules. So, mark your calendar now!

You Have to Believe in the Publix GA Marathon

Who didn't go see Xanadu for their 9th birthday?

Go ahead and click the link. You know you want to.

So, I've only ever done one marathon and I was not running it to beat any time goal - I just wanted to finish. I have trained for the Georgia Marathon four times now and finally (FINALLY!) with mucho help from Doug, I did not injure myself and got to the start line this year.

On race morning, we drove Jamie downtown and met up with Natalie, who had graciously volunteered to run with me.

Because Natalie is crazy.

She and Doug had the ridiculous idea that I could break 4 hours in this race. Keeping in mind that my one and only marathon time to date was over 4 hours and 40 minutes. They based this theory on the fact that McMillan's magic running pace calculator says I can run 3:26 if I were fully trained.

Which I am not.

So, anyway, they decided I could do it and I secretly wanted to be able to do it so I went along with the joke. But inside, I harbored both a tiny flickering flame of hope and the nearly empty glass of pessimism (realism?) water ready to dash upon it.

I wigged out about the race and made my tummy sick worrying about it. Then, one day while I was driving home from work, I had an "aha!" moment. Sure, Doug had been telling me this for weeks, but sometimes (all the time), I am hard-headed and have to work it out myself. I asked myself what would be the worst thing that could happen in the race. Performing a walking tour of the porto-potties and taking 7 hours to finish? Well, I've done that and it's really not so bad. And if I only walk the last three miles, that is really not bad at all. It's still a PR.

And that little tiny flame just might light the way to a breakthrough performance.

Maybe.

It is interesting that what makes some people seem great or attractive or talented is that they commit to the performance or finish the drill or give it their all. Lady Gaga isn't worried about looking stupid. Singers aren't worried about someone hearing them sing. So, going all-in was the plan. No reservations. No holding back to make sure I didn't blow up.

So anyway, back to the story. On race morning Doug drove Jamie and me to the race site. I realized in the car that I had forgotten my hand-bottle of water. The one I always run with and had carefully filled and put in the fridge the night before. The one with four GUs in the front pocket for my nutrition.

@#$%*

I texted this (in letters instead of symbols) to Natalie. She was unfazed, so I made up my mind to be unfazed too. No taking it as an omen. I had packed more than enough extra GU, even after sharing with everyone. I could carry my plastic water bottle. No problem. Deep breath.

We met up with Natalie and Brent and all of our other buddies. I distributed GUs to all requestors (plain and blueberry-pomegranate Roctane for Natalie, strawberry-banana for Brent and chocolate and pineapple Roctane for Jamie).

We performed the obligatory line-standing and potty-visiting. Natalie was the fastest and had to wait for the rest of us pokey puppies.

Then, we skipped to our corral and danced to the fun tunes with the folks standing near us.

I tried to turn on my very-carefully-crafted-just-longer-than-4-hour running mix, but alas, the i-pod was dead. Almost bad omen #2. Very disappointed that I would not get to hear "Superfreak" or "Sickbed of Cuchulainn" or Prince on my run, I tucked the headphones in the back of my shirt and put it out of my mind. I have run plenty of long runs without music and if all else failed I could always hum "Tom's Diner" which always works to calm me down. No problem. Deep breath.

Here is the start! Whee!

Just after the start, my Garmin said it was full and I had to quickly delete all of the bike history as I was running, which is not as easy as you'd think. Whew! Crisis #3 averted! Lisa zipped up to us and posed for a quick Brooks Babes photo before she was gone in a flash.

The start was chaos and I kept trying to speed up because I knew we had to bank time in the beginning. Natalie had to tell me to slow down, that we were going too fast. That was not a good sign. I was scattered because of the Garmin and the headphones and the crowds.

We made it to North Avenue and met up with a nice guy named Kevin, who decided he would run with us. We had lots of fun discussing the relative merits of padding in jogbras and other similarly inappropriate topics.

Kevin is in the Army and was running his second marathon in a very short time. Here, we are flexing for Natalie, because we are buff like that. OK, I'm really just sucking my tummy in because my shirt kept showing it, but I told Kevin to flex and he obliged.

We met up with the 4:00 pace group at some point and ran with them for most of the race. They were a nice bunch and Matthew, the guy who ran 20 miles in the mud and rain to pace a total stranger at the GUTS Reactor Run was one of the group leaders. It gave me some comfort to run with them, even if I forgot that they had started behind us. As you can see, the rollers had begun already.

What you don't know is that running with Natalie is always fun. She is the life of the party. Even if you are feeling like crap or having a bad day or your GI is acting up, she sings, makes up distracting games or generally acts silly. And, she takes photos and meets everyone. Just before this photo, she tried to explain a very complicated punch-buggy game to us to distract us from the fact that the hills had begun. Like a couple of drunks, Kevin and I could not follow the logic of the game other than that it did not involve actual punching. Then, Natalie zipped ahead for a potty stop and (apparently) photos with Santa.

I got some water and continued forward progress. Except that this was the aid station dedicated to the Amanda Riley Foundation. Amanda died of cancer at age 17 and her foundation works for children's cancer research. At the end of the aid station there was a poster with photos of her running a race a year before her death. It made me cry. When Natalie came back, she thought something terrible had happened. No, just too sad. And mile 18-ness.

Just after this, I think - it could have been before this, we turned into the hills of Druid Hills. The plan was to continue progress on the uphills and recover/pick up time on the downhills. Natalie reminded me of this, but my legs were already on fire and every downhill step hurt. I told her to go ahead. I did not feel like this until mile 22 of the Kiawah marathon, so it was very upsetting for it to happen so early in this race. So, Natalie went ahead to challenge the hills and I plugged along with (behind) the 4:00 group. Kevin had dropped off before Decatur so I was on my own. This required a small pity party but I gave myself a stern lecture and worked it out.

In Piedmont Park, John, Desiree and Kim were a happy oasis. I knew they had ibuprophen and had planned to stop, but just didn't do it. Stupid, I could have gotten some water here and may have not needed to walk up North Avenue later. Dumb mistake #3? #4? Who is counting?

I was worried about the GI and walked just in that last bit. Once I hit Marietta Street, I knew I was home free so I turned up the pace. It hurt less! I realized I had less than 2 miles to go. No need to conserve anything for any additional hills because Marietta Street is more of a grinder than a hill. Why not see if I could turn it up more? I could! My cardio was still OK. It was just my legs that hurt so I turned it up even more and sprinted to the finish. YAY!

I just missed 4 hours. My chip time was 4:00:55.

It is OK, though, that I missed the "magic number" because I had a fabulous race. It was a complete breakthrough for me. I think I am prouder of this finish than of the first marathon because I didn't play it safe (and I'm a safety girl). I committed to the race and now we know I can run a marathon for time and not be dead at the end and not tour the porto-potties. Yes!

What else could I do if I really tried? If I really gave it my all?

Here we are after some water and food.

So, at several points during the race, I thought to myself "this sucks - I'm never running this fast again" and "Kirk was right - getting fitter doesn't make it hurt less, you just get faster."

But you know what? Those thoughts passed (usually after I had some GU - low fuel makes me very negative) and after the race was over, I found myself making plans for next year and hoping that we would get the great 2-for-1 deal so that we would HAVE to sign up again. And 'lo, Doug has already signed us up for 2012 so there you go. Publix Georgia Marathon, I'll be back to run with Doug and Natalie and all of my other friends next year. : )

If you want the gory race details, here is my BT race report.