Tuesday, January 10, 2006

What ifs

Twice yesterday (once with my mom and once with my friends Michelle and Kara) I found myself discussing what would have been different if we (me, the conversation partners or old boyfriends) had married someone else than who we actually married. It reminded me of something Doug told me once while we were discussing the compulsion I have to remain friends with old boyfriends. He said that he didn't care what they were like or if I still spoke to them because he was glad that they brought me down the path that led to him.

Some folks would say that you are "meant" for your mate or that fate or God brought you together, but I think I like Doug's analysis that your decisions determine your path(s) - like those "choose your own adventure" books. If you pick option A,then options B and C are foreclosed to you but options C and D open up later on. Maybe fate or God is still behind it, but I think the key is to trust your decision and be happy about it rather than "what if"-ing. I'm glad those old boyfriends brought me here and I expect that the old boyfriends are thankful that I led them some of the way to where they are. : )

4 comments:

Dogwood Girl said...

Sounds like you and Doug, and Todd and I have similar thoughts on this. We really are pretty cool with the exes. Although, it is pretty easy when I am no longer friends with the one that really mattered the most, and when Todd just didn't have many long-term gfs before me. Guess he was just waiting on perfection. [snort]

Kat or Mike said...

I try to remind myself of that "she brought you down the path to me thing" all the time. For the most part I think it is productive and true, but Mike has one ex I'm not crazy about at all. I dislike running into her. Oh well. As for my exes, we recently met up with my high school bf in ATL and had a great time with he and his wife. that is about the only i could imagine hanging out with, though. especially with the baby i think now how glad i am to be raising a kid with mike and not some of the guys i dated in college. him being from a big family makes him so much more of a team player than most of my college boyfriends. nothing against them-- i guess i'm long-windedly agreeing!

Kat or Mike said...

oh, and i am thrilled you referenced the choose your own adventure books! they rock

Colin said...

I can't believe you want to hear about my papers and assignments. What, are you a glutton for punishment? Or do you just need help? Or both?