Before Dagny was born, I said that I would breastfeed for six months since that is how long Annika did it before she decided she was done. That was always the plan. I really was looking forward to having my boobs back and stopping the weird menopausal symptoms that occur when I am breastfeeding. Doug was also looking forward to the end for obvious reasons and also because there is only so much of me whipping it out in public that anyone wants to see. Dagny didn't really care - once she learned to drink from a bottle, as long as the food comes, she does not care about the delivery method or contents.
So, last week Dagny was six months and since I was starting the job, I started weaning. Granted, the hormone shift when ceasing breastfeeding is huge, but it's really upsetting me. I know that my milk production is not a measure of my worth as a mother, and that Dagny would be stopping in the near future anyway as she learned to drink from a cup, but MAN - this is hard. It doesn't help that the stopping coincides with the beginning of working or that the ladies on my moms board gave me disapproval about it (I am hypersensitive, obviously). I thought I would just postpone getting rid of the nighttime and morning feedings because I really like that time with Dagny. It's hard not to be filled with love for her when she is cradled in my arms and I'm filling her full of the good stuff. Well, apparently, my body had other plans and there wasn't enough supply to keep Dagny asleep all night last night so we were up several times to feed and then to make a bottle. It sucked.
Too bad I didn't take more time to appreciate the joy of being able to do the feeding while it was happening. I'm bad about that - rushing though everything to get to the next thing. Doug always says that I should stop and enjoy stuff - I wish I would just listen to him sometimes.